I recently stumbled across a hilarious list of “lame analogies” submitted for a Washington Post contest.
A few samples:
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. (Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of “Jeopardy!” (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)
“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. (Bonnie Speary Devore, Gaithersburg)
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)
Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)
When I finished laughing, I realized I love these analogies. They have a fresh quality, in spite of their lack of literary merit.
So I came up with another creative exercise: take 15 minutes to write some of these terrible similes and metaphors. Yes, they’re silly. But writing “bad” can be freeing, and it tends to encourage your inner critic to take a break. With no pressure to create a masterpiece, you can simply play with words. And the exercise just might get your creative juices flowing.
You can read the entire Washington Post list here.
Copyright @ Sandy Ackers, Strangling My Muse: Struggling to Live a Creative Life in a Stressful World, http://www.stranglingmymuse.com
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