This week I’m rerunning my series on perfectionism, which struck quite a chord with readers last year. Here’s the third installment:
I’ve been thinking (and writing) a lot about perfectionism lately, and I can see two particular ways in which it has hampered my creativity over the years: Needing my life to be in perfect order before I can really devote time to writing. And feeling my writing isn’t good enough, because it’s not perfect. In this post, I’m going to talk about the first issue, and I’ll discuss the second one next time.
Here are some things I’ve learned: Life is messy. Creativity is messy. Muses come to you at the worst possible times. They arrive when you can’t possibly listen to them because your world will fall apart if you don’t finish the big work project/get another hour of sleep/re-grout the shower right now. They arrive when you’re tired and cranky and you don’t care about their amazing creative insights. They come to you straight from a Paris café on a sunny afternoon where they were just biting into the perfect tarte au citron. They arrive with crumbs still falling down their chins because they had a brilliant idea for you that couldn’t wait. They expect you to drop everything and listen to their inspirational comments.
Alternately, muses are good at vanishing. They disappear just when you want them the most. They start pouting and storm off right in the middle of a wonderful creative session. Or they suddenly have pressing business elsewhere and won’t stay, even when you beg. They abandon you, leaving you astonished because you thought things were going so well. Or they never arrive at all. They stop taking your calls and won’t tell you why.
And here’s the thing. If you want to create, you must create anyway. If you want to write or paint or sculpt or make music, you must write or paint or sculpt or make music in spite of everything. You must do it when your muse is acting up, and you must do it when you’re cranky, and you must do it when you’re busy.
Because if you don’t write, you’re not writing. If you don’t paint, you’re not painting. In The Writing Life, Annie Dillard said “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” If you don’t spend your days creating, you’re not spending your life creating.
Not to put any pressure on you or anything.
Something else I’ve learned—and it’s taken me years to truly understand this—is that creativity can take place in tiny bites. You don’t have to set aside big chunks of time to write a novel. You don’t have to complete a short story in one sitting. Or a poem. Even a haiku.
I once completed a series of stories by setting aside 15 minutes a day when I was working full time and freelancing on the side and felt swamped all the time. I began stopping at a sheltered bench or a hotel lobby every morning after my commute downtown. I wrote for 15 minutes before heading to my office. Once I got into the flow of this daily writing habit, I was amazed at how much I could get done in such a short time.
You can spend five minutes creating metaphors twice a week, spend 15 minutes working on your memoir another three days, write a couple of lines in your head once or twice in the shower. If you engage in these small moments of creativity most days, a flow begins.
Soon the metaphor about the grandfather clock slips into your memoir as a pithy reflection on your family’s tendency to eat breakfast food at dinnertime. The quick description you wrote in your head while showering becomes a narrative about the bully who harassed you on your first day of elementary school. Before you know it, you’ve written the first five chapters of your book.
It really does work. And your days will feel richer because you’ve dotted them with creativity, and forced your Inner Perfectionist to go away and leave you alone.
Copyright © Sandy Ackers, Strangling My Muse: Struggling to Live a Creative Life in a Stressful World, http://www.stranglingmymuse.com
Strangling My Muse 
Thanks for these reminders. For me, me blog is my book, one tiny piece at a time. 🙂
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Good post! I can somewhat relate, since I know some perfectionist people, but I am quite unperfectionist at most things. Oh well 🙂
This was beautifully written and quite powerful. I know that, personally, if I choose to stop creating in a concious sense, my brain will continue to do so anyway. For my own well-being, I must let it out. I write, I paint. I used to dance. Writing is now my meditation, my yoga, my safe space, at times my best friend. Thanks for this post. Hopefully, it will inspire many others.
Good post! I have to apply this to my photography and sewing.
I can totally relate, Sandy. Thanks for your post. It was very encouraging. Now I think I’ll write!
Found you by freshly pressed! You said everything beautifully, and I have struggled with this my whole life and you have to keep reminding yourself that you won’t have the perfect day, orthe perfect desk, or the perfect mood to write. I have now been more successful by stripping away those expectations and writing every spare moment. I write while the kids jump on the couch behind me. I write after put them to bed and I am tired. I write on my laptop, like right now, until I am pulled away by my little one wanting to read books. At the end of day, you have work to revise. That’s a good day. We all need to lower our expectations of perfection and do the work of the day. Great post!!! check out my blog at http://www.jenniferprobst.wordpress.com
This is a really great post! I find that if you put off your passions and your creativity for too long, it disappears all together (and you might forget it was there, or worse, believe it’s all gone). If you feed it, like watering a plant every day, it’s amazing how you’ll find time here and there to really relish in your passions and do what inspires you. But you must take the first step. Thanks for sharing!
http://simplysolo.wordpress.com
Good lord S a n d y! You managed to hit the nail on the head there… Thank you for sharing that, it really hit home for me.
My biggest woe is being a perfectionist… Wanting everything to coincide perfectly; that is the perfect writer dream of country house, writing desk facing the window, watching deers and rabbits in the morning mist with a warm cup of tea and just scribble away on the computer/paper. I’ve had a n enormous wage of inspiration hit me lately at the completely wrong timing (studying finance and working on the final thesis). What I do is whine about wanting to write so badly that I shall go mad! But then I stifle my muse and force myself to do other things to perfection. Naturally, it leaks into my sleep and sometimes I have to wake up, take up my notebook and start writing frantically… page after page…
What you wrote might have just pushed my out of this increadibly silly self-blocking. Again — thank you!
Found you through the “Freshly Pressed”-page, so congrats are in place as well!
Great words for this busy mom, who wants to keep creating. Thanks.
As a perfectionist myself, I can totally relate. Setting aside just a couple of minutes a day to write or create helps keep stress at bay.
Nicely said. Thanks for the affirmation.
‘Creativity is messy’ – so true. Perhaps I oughtn’t to be making it wipe its shoes before it walks through the front door?
I try to iron things out (spelling, grammar, etc) before I post them. Once posted, I rarely make any changes. I just move on to the next idea. Sometimes I look back and wince at something I’ve written, but I usually leave it alone. (I’ll correct a typo, that’s about it)
I’m good at creating scenes and storylines in my head; it’s when I go to write them down that the perfect words vanish. Therein lies my perfectionism problem. The story never looks as good on paper as it sounded in my head. Do you have a cure for that? 🙂
-Jen
http://littlecreekvet.wordpress.com
Thanks for the tips and congrats on Freshly Pressed. You are now, officially, one of my heroes.
Crystal
http://www.crystalspins.com
You manage to capture the moments we feel, as writing, struggling too often in the dark and alone. Thanks for working on our behalf. Please continue.
Noreen
http://bit.ly/b5dU8k
Quite some creativity!
Fantastic advice. Plus, your writing is so entertaining and free-flowing, like a circus mime performing Swan Lake…no…like the Geico gecko performing Swan Lake…no…(insert perfect metaphor here).
Great post! This is something I always forget. Writing, for me at least, is not about getting to a certain place or finishing a project–it’s the process; it’s the journey. Getting from point A to point B is great, but the journey there is the fun part. Most of the time, I just push ahead quickly, thinking I need to write XX amount of words a day, and finish XX amount of pages a week, etc. But I’ve found, like you, that baby steps work best. Moments of inspiration come and go, but if you grind at it a little at a time everyday, you will always be on the journey, inspired or not.
Just this morning, I had a great idea and almost lost it because of the much-needed extra hour of sleep. But you’re right. I don’t know how many times I have had minutes lost that could have easily gone to writing. Guess I should start carrying that notebook around. I’ve signed on to do Nanowrimo this month. Wish me luck!
Sandy,
I love this: …[C]reativity can take place in tiny bites.
On days when I feel like I can’t get anything done, I try to look back onto all the writing I have finished in those little spurts of time. Thanks for that reminder. And, congrats on getting Freshly Pressed! Have fun 🙂
So true and funny. I will get the greatest ideas as I am driving and can’t do them. Then I lose them. So the muse flies away! Huh! I need to harness my creativity a different way. Thanks. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
evelyngarone.com
Great post, and thanks for the tips! Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!
fabulous–I have taken to always keeping my journal nearby so I can jot down the zooming muses as they swoop by…alas, not in the shower, though, and some really interesting thoughts happen there.
alas.
congrats on freshly pressed!
blessings
jane
I agree, you have to keep writing whatever the distraction. I heard a great saying to help with the curse of perfectionism. ‘Don’t get it right, get it written!’ Discard this advice on the final rewrite…
Congratulation on being freshly pressed, and wrangling or strangling your muse today. 🙂
Very helpful, and well-written! As a studying writer and self-professed perfectionist, I can relate.
Muses, inspiration, ideas-whatever they are, I find them fascinating. Where do they come from? There isn’t really any way to describe them… they come at their own will,creative outbursts that will overtake you if you don’t attend to them.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I’ll be back sometime.
Awesomely put 🙂 !!
Wonderfully told!!! As a fellow perfectionist, I have learned that procrastination finds its’ way into the equation as we wait for the “right” time to create, to write, to make music!! A dreadful combination indeed.
I loved your suggestions. I have begun a habit of keeping a notepad near my vanity in the bathroom so I may write down those moments of brilliance or lucidity that strike only while in the shower! I’m still wrestling with the skill or capturing those ideas that present themselves in the middle of a long bike ride or trail run. I have taken the time to stop, pull my phone from the backpack and record a voice note to help me remember. If only there were a way to record our thoughts exactly as they occur without breaking stride. Hmmmm? Perhaps it’s God’s way of forcing us to stop and smell the roses.
It is always calming to hear from other writers about their struggles with perfectionism. A while back, I had a talk with one of my regular customers who is also a poet. He comes in for a shot of wheat grass every night and then sits and writes poetry. From outward appearance, he is consistently inspired. On the particular night we talked, we were both having an “everything sucks and this town is boring” day. He is quite a bit older than I am and I always took him to be an eloquent poet who had managed the dragon long ago. Not so. He writes poetry because he’s a poet. He exercises the daily ritual of wheat grass to symbolize a new time to write. He writes no matter what. Even if everything sucks and the town is boring. And through him, I have been able to let myself go to writing. Be open to the seeds. Because if I had to prioritize my life’s very most important thing, it would be writing. With a priority of any other kind we would stop everything to make the time. This shouldn’t differ with writing. So now, no matter what I am doing I stop to write down the tiniest creative matter that enters my mind. It is a gift and a priority. Thanks so much for sharing. ~Heather
Very nice – thanks for the words of inspiration/encouragement – and congrats on the front page feature! 🙂
In my real life I’m a doctor. It ain’t a game of perfect, but at least I try to be sure my mistakes don’t kill anyone. So far, it has worked. I’ve been at it three decades and stayed out of any legal trouble. Once someone asked what my specialty was and I said, “Staying out ot trouble, and I’m very good at it.”
Art is a different deal. Much as I love it, it only matters so much. If I hit a bad note on the mandolin or write a lame passage, no one dies. Still, I kept at it. Many revisions and a decade later, “The Mandolin Case” was published.
It’s my best novel to date. (It is also my first) As we say in music when asked what your best gig was, the answer is always “the next one I play.”
Don’t forget, writing isn’t a matter of life and death; it’s a lot more important than that.
Have fun,
Dr. B
I once attended a song writing workshop, that gave me one of my most important life lessons: that artistic gifts have to be earned as much as any other achievement. That you should do some writing every day, even if it’s awful, because in all the awful there’s usually a piece of something wonderful.
I make myself blog every day to keep myself in the habit. I usually pour my brain out, save the draft, and come back to it later. The inner perfectionist can have a wonderful time with the editing, but can eff off in the creating.
Great post 🙂
Miss Sandy Ackers, I thank you for writing this beautiful and honest post. This is what I was looking for..honest advice which makes sense. I am an artist and a stay at home mother, and as long as I remember I have been putting my creativity aside for a perfect day and dealing with life’s other issues. Not anymore..this whole year I have been actively making an effort to produce more art, and appreciate myself rather than becoming a critic who only discourage me from making art. I participated in three group shows this year, and recently started a blog to keep myself motivated. I am taking so many things from this post *life is messy..creativity is messy*, *creativity can happen in tiny bites*, *if you want to create..you must create* 🙂
This year I did the *Artist Way*, and spent hours looking for books like *Taking the creative flight* etc. on amazon..and the best piece of advice came through freshly pressed here on wordpress 🙂
http://www.amnamehwish.wordpress.com
Wow. Helpful. My voice teacher is always reminding me to drop the perfectionism. I have trouble practicing because of my fear of doing it wrong. She often points out to me exercises that I can’t do wrong, but still I have stubborn blockage over this.
Thanks so much for posting this! It really helps knowing that others have exactly the same day to day struggles as I do.
My perfectionism can be debilitating. I’m in university now and for the past year I’ve been handing in all of my papers late b/c of my perfectionism. Sometimes it takes me hours to compose one sentence!
Nice article, Sandy! I see what you mean by muse acting up whenever. I’m a photographer and I constantly think about the ways to present, including things of our routine.
Although I’m lucky to be doing all the creating now, it’s a great idea to set aside 15 minutes a day to piece-meal writing or any other creative activity.
Thank you for sharing!
Jean
Firstly – congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. I’m glad you were because it’s led me to discover your blog and, having now trawled back through it, I can say I’ll be back to read more.
I’m currently doing The Artist’s Way so your posts on Perfection have come at the perfect time for me. I have to admit that I never have been a perfectionist because I’m too lazy – I always admire people who can make sure their spelling, grammar and phraseology are bang on. But sometimes I still get scared that what I’m writing / photographing won’t be accepted because it lacks Perfection.
I love what you write about muses coming and going at the worst moments 😉 Too true! I wish mine wouldn’t come in the shower or on my motorbike when I can’t get the inspirations down on paper 🙂
I enjoyed the post.
Nicely written and well said! All of us fellow artists need to be pefectionist because only we know when out work is done! For me, I can record and record and record a song, but only I know wehn I got down right!
Blessings,
Ava
Found you through FP and am very glad I did!
I’m not so much a perfectionist as a procrastinator but sometimes I think they are two different words for the same disease!
I really liked the way you put it, If you don’t write, you’re not writing! How true!
Off now to read Parts 1 & 2.
I can definitely relate to this, it’s an awesome post =)
Perfectionism is a big problem for me as well. I seriously wonder how any writers manage to post their posts all. I keep on editing whatever I have written, sometimes even after I have posted something. Usually after I have finished with my post, I try to relax my mind by doing the dishes /laundry or some similar thing yet I continue writing and editing in my head. Do writers find it easy to blog or consider their posts as serious reflection of their writing? I am new at this. Cheers 🙂
loved this. it hit a nerve.
Hi
I am a perfectionist too. Guess what I manage 7 sites/blogs and I authored my first book just a few months back. So many beautifully written sentences came to me at the absurdest of times. So much so that I would leave a pen and paper on my bedside table cause sometimes in the middle of the night the muse would visit…and if I did not write it down then….they were forever lost. I would jackknife up in bed and write in pitch darkness as my hubby would be fast asleep and I dare not switch on the light. But I was always glad that I did that as oftentimes it turned out to be soul stirring stuff. I still write and most of it is done between 8 in the morning with my morning cup of tea and 9 which is when I have to stop to make breakfast for everybody at home.I sit on my porch with my cup of tea and watch the parrots and mynahs fighting every day and watch the traffic of cars slowly build up as more and more time goes by and I am grateful that I can still sit sometimes till 9.30 with my notebook awkwardly propped on the arm of my chair to allow me to write.
I love the advice here. *walks off muttering little chunks, little chunks…*
Thanks for this thoughtful post. I like your points about life and creativity being messy, and that these can be in conflict with the pursuit of perfection. Over the past year, I’ve tried to come to a balance. In my work for clients as a graphic designer, my attempts at getting things just right are welcome. But as I’ve tried some personal projects (painting, cartoons, poetry), that’s where the messy comes in. Often, the work doesn’t come out as I first envisioned it, and along the way, unexpected things happen. First, there’s disappointment that the piece isn’t as good as the picture in my mind — but then, there’s the fun of discovering something I had not planned for. Thanks again for your post — and best wishes on your writing!
This is great, I wish I could do it, I’ll try
Wow…. just wow…. I’ve always felt that way but never had the right (or write) words to articulate that feeling. And here you seem to write it down with ease . Thanks for making my hectic day somehow a good one….
andohbytheway, congrats on being freshly pressed!
nice post Sandy. thanks for getting it started little by little. i too, am trying to cultivate my creativity in any little way I can and trying to come up with something beautiful 🙂
Really amazing post! For me creativity is something that sometimes is on and other times off, which is frustrating me to no end. I am always complaining about my schedule and how it can’t all just fit in one day, and that definitely isn’t very healthy. It’s really nice to see people that actually manage to find time to write, and congatulations for that!!!
The most important element in any creative endeavor is to trust and surrender with developed discernment.
I hear ya. There is definitely that fine balance we must embrace, between inspiration and obsession. I recently finished my first novel. There was a lot I learned about perfectionism in those six years. My next writings will get easier. When you can, check out my press. I love to share some secrets that I dug out of the universe. Good blog.
Wow. I am humbled and inspired by this explosion of positive feedback. As all of you know, writing can sometimes be a lonely business — even writing a blog — and it fills me with joy to know so many people are reading and relating to what I’ve written.
Thanks so much for sharing your own struggles with perfectionism; for offering your wisdom and advice; for injecting a little humor into your comments; and for supporting me, each other, and everyone out there trying to live a more creative life. It helps us all when we can discuss our creative blocks and give each other tips to overcome them. I believe that when more of us open ourselves up fully to our creativity, the world becomes a better place. Thanks to all of you for being part of that process!
My last post in this perfectionism series will run tomorrow — in that one I discuss the issue of feeling like what you’ve written should immediately be shoved into the shredder before anyone else sees it and realizes what a bad writer you really are! Be sure to check it out if you struggle with this issue. (Jen from Little Creek Veterinary Clinic, this post is my answer to your question!)
One more question to answer: maryawrites asks “Do writers find it easy to blog or consider their posts as serious reflection of their writing? I am new at this.” Marya, I think there are probably as many answers to this question as there are bloggers. As for me, it actually varies according to the day. Some posts I polish and polish, and others I just throw out there to the world and don’t worry too much about them. I’m trying to achieve a good balance between the two attitudes — and some days I actually succeed!
Lastly, some of you mentioned frustration about not being able to capture creative ideas that come to you in the shower. Well, I’ve got a post for you! I found waterproof paper, pens and other tools to help you write, scrawl or doodle those shower time creative bursts. I wrote about it in this post: Write Naked.
Best of luck to all of you with your creative endeavors! And I will check out your websites as I have time.
~Sandy
Your “writing for 15 minutes” example is very inspirational. I work full time and write part-time and with a job that takes a huge amount of my time and then your everyday chores and life in general… I have been feeling very stressed about not having enough time to simply write…I am going to try that… 15 minutes… I can find 15 minutes per day… :o)
I really know that feeling of stress over not having time to write. The 15-minute solution does help! Best of luck to you.
~Sandy
This is soo true! Very well written. Because our muses are so sporadic, I always make it a point to have a pen and paper with me everywhere I go. That way when a good idea strikes, I am well prepared! 🙂
Thanks! It’s very smart to always have pen and paper so you can take dictation when your muse decides to show up. Good luck with your writing!
~Sandy
Man, this definitely struck a chord with me. I am perfectionist, and I totally just understand what you are saying. I like your idea of taking the time to just write fifteen minutes a day. I really enjoyed your blog. I will come back to read more. God bless.
😀 Your post made me laugh about my own insistence on strangling my muse. I simply loved the way you put it! I’ve been rather sure for sometime that my stories don’t reach beyond page 7 as there is a little too much drain of creativity by then, thanks to my need to make it perfect. And perfect it never is.
This post gives me hope and I will try not to be so hard on myself.
This is wonderful advice! I have totally find this too. You just have to write. People think you have to be in the right mood, it has to be the right time, or you have to wait that muse, which as you said, does not come when you want it.
So you just show up, clock in, and clock out. Just do it. It’s very nike. 🙂
pardon all the typos, I’m so tired!
*found
**wait FOR that muse
There, that should fix it.
Thanks, Em and partialview! Best of luck to both of you with your writing and with allowing yourself to be imperfect and have FUN while you create!
~Sandy
And thank you, too, Ollin! “Just Do It” is a good motto. Another one I like is using the BIC method: Butt in Chair!
Good luck with your writing!
~Sandy
p.s. We don’t care about typos here. We’re not perfectionists!
Nice post. Nice images. Thanks for sharing.
http://autospirit.wordpress.com/
Thanks!
I just stumbled upon your blog, and really, really needed to read it. It spoke to me so clearly. Thank you for this, I will keep your advice in mind.
I’m so glad my words spoke to you, T. Thanks for letting me know!
~Sandy
Revving thoughts. Actually, even in all that perfectionism, there is some sort of eccentric-ism; just like the universe has a lot of entropy. Who wants all that order, anyways !!
Yes — and creativity is never orderly, anyway, no matter how much we want it to be or try to fit it into a neat little package. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
~Sandy